This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
