If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
