Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
