He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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