I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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