I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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