is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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