My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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