She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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