I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize