I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
