I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
