this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
