she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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