It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
