we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
