You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
