well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
