I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
