dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
