I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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