you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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