dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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