Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Houston, we have a squirter
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So much rum. So many feels.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
