he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
