she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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