pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
