I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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