Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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