sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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