so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
