chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
