Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
