PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
id be glad to
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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