Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
