i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize