Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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