I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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