What a fucking waste of an outfit
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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