last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
