i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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