Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
