The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize