ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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