Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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