SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Randomize