If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
