is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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