so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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