Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
