I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
