just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
